


Melty Sweetheart

by Hatsage7



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: (F/F implied? idk), (also i tried to leave things relatively open-ended in regards to her actual romantic status), (only Mash and Fujimaru actually appear in the fic), (the rest have just written letters lmao), 1st to guess who gave the mystery valentine gets a cookie, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsage7/pseuds/Hatsage7
Summary: Mash asks for Ritsuka's help with a very stressful Valentine's Day problem.AKA Mash has a million people who would LOVE to be her girlfriend, the way it should beInspired by the CE of the same name: https://fategrandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Melty_Sweetheart
Relationships: Fujimaru Ritsuka & Mash Kyrielight | Shielder, Fujimaru Ritsuka/Mash Kyrielight | Shielder
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Melty Sweetheart

**Author's Note:**

> i knew that i wanted to do something like this as soon as i saw the CE -- i thought it'd be a really fun way to explore "writing" these characters through notes and cards
> 
> sorry for the lack of updates, lol the holidays were very busy. i have a bunch of fics queued up now, so i'll be releasing one every day or every other day! in a perfect world i would even get a fic out for the FGO 2021 Valentine's Event proper before it ends, but we'll see how THAT goes.
> 
> Enjoy, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Ritsuka was relaxing in her room, enjoying some downtime after a very hectic two weeks leading up to Valentine’s day. She was positively drunk on chocolate, and she was really looking forward to a day of peace and relaxation -- especially since she had given all the other Servants plenty of one-on-one time, to ensure there would be  _ no _ interruptions.

A knock on the door interrupted her peace of mind. She swallowed her frustration and stood up. “Coming, one second, please…” Ritsuka hastily pulled on a jacket and changed out of her comfy sweatpants into tights and a skirt. At the  _ very _ least, the fact that her door wasn’t being broken down meant that however was out there wasn’t just desperate for some more cuddling. Maybe. Hopefully.

_ God _ , she had done so much cuddling.

A minute or two later, she was dressed and had more or less tamed her bedhead. She opened her door to see a nervous and fiddling Mash, glancing up and down the hallway before snapping back when she noticed Ritsuka.

“Sen-senpai!” She glanced up and down the Master’s rumpled form. “Oh -- were you -- I-I’m sorry! Th-this is -- you’re trying to rest, and I’m bothering you, I-I’ll just --”

“Mash,” she said. “It’s okay. I’m up now, y’know. If there’s something you really need help with, I’m happy to help!”   
  
...Mash’s silence was not very reassuring. “Mash…? What do you need help with?”

The purple-haired kouhai trembled in place -- as a reaction to stress, light flashed around her, and she was suddenly wearing her armor. “Ah! No, it’s -- I’m sorry, senpai! It’s just -- it’s a little complicated…”

Ritsuka crossed her arms. “Is it a Singularity? A mission, or something?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just… can I show you something? In my -- bedroom?”

From anyone else, that might have sounded like being propositioned. Even coming from Mash, it was enough to stop Ritsuka in her tracks. “Sure, Mash. Lead the way. And hey -- try to relax, okay? I’m sure we can do this together!”

Mash took in a shaky breath, then sighed. She gave Ritsuka a nervous smile, and the two of them were off to see whatever the Shielder had in her room.

\----------

Ritsuka blinked. “...no, I’m still not getting it.”

Mash had revealed a pile of small boxes of varying shapes and colors, mild disarray made all the more remarkable for how orderly the girl usually kept her room.

The kouhai in question made a noise of distress at how nonplussed the other girl was. “W-well… we just had Valentine’s Day.”

“...I’m well aware.”

“A-and since everyone had the day off, I spent it all in the library with Lady Murasaki.”

Ritsuka couldn’t help but grin. “Oh yeah? Did the two of you have a good time~?” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Mash blushed furiously, as expected. “Sh-she has a nice voice. I like… listening to her read, and she likes to read to me.”

“Among other things~?”

“S-senpai! This isn’t about that!” Her flush shot up past her cheeks to color the tips of her ears. Ritsuka left her off with a few more good-natured chuckles before gesturing for her to continue. She swallowed anxiously. “I-I wasn’t  _ in _ my room at all yesterday -- on  _ Valentine’s _ . When I came back, I found all of these here -- they’re -- these a-are -- ” She cut herself off with a hand over her mouth, rendered unwilling or unable to speak.

After a moment, Ritsuka filled in the blanks for the other girl. “...they’re Valentine’s chocolates, yeah! Mashu, don’t tell me you’re  _ surprised! _ Everybody likes you! I’m surprised that there aren’t more of these here, if anything.”

This was the wrong thing to say if Ritsuka had wanted Mash to stop being embarrassed, as she merely turned a deeper shade of red. “That’s -- o-okay, i-if you say so,” she managed to squeak out, “b-but that’s still not th-the problem!”

Ritsuka cocked her head to the side. “Oh? Is something wrong with them?”

“...nunfthmhfnems.” The kouhai was facing the wall and mumbling, rendering whatever the issue was inaudible.

“...I super didn’t catch that, Mash, what did you -- ?”

“None of them have  _ names! _ ” 

“...oh.”

Mash buried her face in her hands, trying to hide from the world like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. “S-some of them have handwritten cards, b-but they’re so embarrassing to r-read, s-so I just skipped to the end and not a  _ single _ one had a signature. Not one, senpai!” She began shifting her weight from one leg to the other as she continued mumbling. 

She began shifting her weight from one leg to the other as she continued mumbling. “I mean -- I can make educated guess f-for some of them, obviously, but I don’t know for sure, a-and what if I’m wrong? I-I can’t go around  _ asking _ people if they gave me chocolate, especially wh-when I gave most people store-bought candies, and these were obviously commissioned by Semiramis weeks if not  _ months _ in advance, s-so getting it wrong would be  _ humiliating _ , and I can’t just ask Semiramis about it because she takes client privacy very seriously and also she’s a little intimidating so I don’t think she would be inclined to be nice if I --”

“ _ Mash, _ ” Ritsuka spoke firmly and planted her hands on her shoulders. “You’re okay. The people who gave you these (whoever they are) definitely didn’t want you to be this worried over them. Right?”

Mash took a shaky breath, hyperventilating slightly after her speech. “R-right. You’re right, senpai. I-I’m sorry for overreacting like this.”

“No, no, this can be a really stressful time of year. Let’s sit down on the bed for a minute.”

“O-- okay.” She allowed herself to be guided to the foot of her bed, facing towards her bathroom and with Ritsuka blocking any line of sight to the pile of offending items.

Mash sighed and shook her head, much calmer. “I feel so silly, getting worked up over this. Y-you must think I’m acting ridiculous, given what you had to deal with.”

“Naaaah. I didn’t have to deal with anything  _ nearly _ this bad; even the Berserkers were considerate enough to give their gifts face-to-face.” That got a small giggle from Mash. “Can I get you some water or anything? Make you some tea? Hot chocolate: we seem to have plenty of  _ that _ lying around.”

The two girls laughed, and the tension that had been steadily building vanished in a matter of seconds. It was easy to forget that, as high-stakes and dangerous as things were at Chaldea, all the Servants were still ordinary people, just as capable of making mistakes and falling into romantic mishaps as anyone else -- or maybe  _ more  _ prone, in some cases.

A few minutes and a mug of hot chocolate each later, Mash and Ritsuka were kneeling on the floor, carefully examining each individual package with their proverbial thinking caps on (Mash had a literal thinking cap in the form of a deerstalker, but ever since Holmes had come to Chaldea she had resolved that it would never leave her bottom drawer and that nobody could ever know of its existence). The two of them were ready to investigate the first of twelve chocolate gifts.

…

‘ ~~_ Greetings and salutations _ __ ~~

~~_ My Dearest Mash _ __ ~~

~~_ Hello! Apologies for the rough start, but then, my courting skills are rusty, and they were never exactly sharp in the first _ ~~

_ Mash, I have a confession to make: I have no idea how to open a note like this. I trust you will forgive any missteps I make from this point on and appreciate the honesty of my words. _

_ Since coming to Chaldea, I have seen and experienced many incredible things. The most incredible thing of them all has to be the connections I’ve made. The bonds I’ve formed with Master, the other Servants… the ones I’ve reforged with old friends… and you.  _ ~~_ You are the most special _ ~~ _ It’s not just your Spirit Origin that makes you such an incredible person. I trust you know this by now, but I would be remiss not to say it. You are as strong and as brave as any knight I know. I trust you as I trust very few in battle, and off the field, you have shown me  _ ~~_such incredible kindness_ _love_~~ _ a kind of gentleness that I have rarely seen, let alone been privileged to share in. _

_ Thank you for making me part of your life. I know that a Valentine’s gift can have many different connotations _ ~~_ , and if you would like me to clarify my feelings, please come to my room so that  _ ~~ _. Needless to say that at the very least -- you are an incredible friend and a lovely girl. Chocolate is the very least you deserve. I hope you have a happy Valentine’s Day, and many more happy days to come. _

~~_ If pledging my sword to you is too forward _ ~~ _ I trust you, of all people, will appreciate the significance of the shape of my gift. Thank you for being my shield _ _ , and my friend.’ _

… 

Ritsuka carefully folded the plain white paper back along its seam and placed it in the box. “I’m pretty sure that this one is from Artoria, Mash.”

Mash didn’t seem as confident. “But…  _ which _ Artoria, senpai?”

“...fair point. I don’t think any of the others would be inclined to give you chocolates this nice, though. The Alters would be a lot more… forward.”

“Mmmmm… but Lartoria o-or even Lily might have --”

“They wouldn’t have given you a chocolate  _ Excalibur _ specifically.” Ritsuka held up the yellow case, obviously patterned to resemble Avalon’s crisscrossing blue lines, with a 1:4 scale chocolate replica of the sword resting inside. “I’m certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only person who would give you a chocolate Excalibur is the original Artoria Pendragon.”

“...what about Arthur?”

There was a moment of silence. “I’m certain beyond  _ a reasonable _ doubt that --”

Mash groaned hopelessly, still not totally convinced by her senpai’s deduction. Ritsuka was quick to reassure her. “Listen, Arthur’s Excalibur is still different from Artoria’s, and the note feels more like something she would write. Also, y’know, far be it from me to enforce gender stereotypes, but all of the other boys have been giving gifts. Even the edible ones weren’t chocolate, so yes -- I’m pretty sure that this is from Artoria.”

The two of them stared at each other, then sighed. “Okay, senpai,” Mash said, still looking far from relieved, “if you’re  _ really _ sure.”

“I am.” She rubbed Mash’s back in what she hoped was a reassuring man. “Hey, if I’m wrong, you have someone convenient to blame it on!”

She let out a snort, then tried to pretend she hadn’t thought it was funny. “I-I swear that wasn’t why I asked for your help!”

Ritsuka shrugged. “It’s a nice benefit, though. In any case, this one was probably the hardest of the bunch; none of these look like they’re from Liz, and she’s the only one with as many other versions of herself. I’m sure the rest will be even easier to figure out!”

…

‘ _ Mash Kyrielight, _

_ It is an honor and privilege to know you. You’re a lovely young woman, and I say that knowing firsthand how hard it often is being feminine when one also has to fight! I think of my own life, and of our shared tribulations in Orleans, and how often both of us have had to set aside leading ordinary lives for the greater good. _

_ I certainly don’t regret the path I’ve chosen, though, and while I can’t imagine you would either, I’m beyond grateful for a day like this! Today, we can celebrate those we love by sharing our feelings and our appreciation for beauty, not just through our actions as warriors!  _

_ I consider myself blessed to be given the chance to know a girl as wonderful as you, Mash. You don’t just protect others; you also care so deeply for them. Truly, I think I’d like to be you when I grow up! _

_ Consider this a small token of my esteem for you.  _

_ Please accept my gift and my gratitude, from one maiden to another, and a saint to a person who could very well be another one, on this holy day. Happy Saint Valentine’s Day, Mashu~. _

_ \--P.S. Keep an eye out for Marie, would you? I had her write this for me since her handwriting is so much prettier than my own, and she had a certain twinkle in her eye… she’s sure to give you chocolate, if not something else altogether. God bless you!’ _

… 

“Right, this one is definitely from Jeanne.”

“...but, senpai…”

Ritsuka looked at Mash. She looked back down at the white box she had chosen, of a comparable shape and size to Artoria’s, and carefully inspected the similarly miniaturized chocolate holy banner and sword of St. Catherine. 

She looked back up at Mash. “If you ask “which Jeanne” out loud…”

“But--”

“Mash, I’m telling you -- the note didn’t mention dolphins or fire  _ once _ . I’d stake my life that this is from the Ruler, and I basically am, considering what the others would do if I assumed a gift from any of them was one from her.”

“That… makes sense. O-okay, this is simpler than I thought!”

Ritsuka nodded. “Just to prove it, let’s open that one next.” She pointed to a smaller white container, one in the shape of an oval rather than a rectangular box. It was also dusted with gold glitter, with a white bow and embossed writing that read ‘Vive la France!’. “If that’s not from Marie, I’ll eat my hat.”

“But senpai,  _ which _ Marie~?”

“Why you little --”

Mash laughed, passing over the requested box. “Kidding!”

…

‘ _ Mademoiselle Kyrielight~, _

_ Bonjour! Joyeuse saint Valentin! I hope this letter finds you well~. However you choose to spend your Valentine’s Day, I hope it goes a sight better than mine… it’s more than possible to have too much of a good thing! _

_...and yet, I still find myself wanting something… sweeter~. _

_ Oh, I hope you don’t consider this too forward, but personally, I find that this holiday is best spent being pampered by one’s lovely admirers~. In hopes of giving you a similar experience, I am extending you a formal  _ _ proposition _ _. I have underlined the word to ensure that you intuit my double meaning. What better time for such a thing than Valentine’s~? You should feel free to come to my quarters at any time during the week so that we might enjoy the pleasures of one another’s company -- or even several times, should you be so inclined~. _

_ I happen to know that Jeanne also has a gift for you! Rest assured, my powers of persuasion are more than enough to convince her to accompany us. Given her disposition, our options for entertainment will be more limited… but I love you, and I know she loves you too. I can think of few better ways to spend one’s time than with those who love them, no?  _

_ Whether you seek platonic love or something a bit richer than mere chocolate, I offer love to you freely~. _

_ Happy Valentine’s Day, my love <3.’ _

… 

“Senpai?”

Ritsuka nearly jumped out of her skin. “Gyah! M-Mash! I was in the middle of reading!”

“Ah, s-sorry, Senpai! I just… thought you looked a little red. Did you need water, or…”

“Oh, n-no thank you, that’s… fine.” It dawned on Ritsuka for the first time that it was a little intrusive, reading letters meant for Mash, even if the girl was too flustered to read them herself. “This is definitely from Marie. It’s, ah… well, it’s certainly the most  _ elegant  _ booty call I’ve ever seen.”

Mash’s flush, which had more or less disappeared, returned with a mighty vengeance. “O-oh. Th-that’s, um… l-like her, I suppose…?”

“Mmhmm,” Ritsuka agreed, lips pressed into a tight line. “I mean, it seemed like… she was okay with not taking things that far? She mentioned Jeanne, for what it’s worth.”

“Ah. Well… th-thank you. For… that.”

There was an awkward quiet filling the room. Ritsuka slid the note over to Mash directly rather than put it back into the box. “Anyway, these chocolate horses are super cute!”

Mash was eager to agree with the blatant subject change. “Yes, they’re just like Marie!”

“...do you mean, “it’s just like Marie to give a gift like this,” or, “Marie is also super cute”?”

“Ahh! S-senpai! That was a dirty trick!”

“Y-you set yourself up for it, what, I’m just  _ not _ supposed to say anything?!”

…

_ ‘Hoy there, small fry! How you doin’? Havin’ a great Valentine’s Day so far, I hope! _

_ Personally, I don’t see the appeal in a holiday just for giving people chocolates and sayin’ how much you love them. I mean, if you want chocolate, there are easier ways to get it than leadin’ people on, and if you love somebody, you should be let them know it all the time, right? Eh, I guess it’s nice for what it is (and I did get a case of the warm and fuzzies from swappin' gifts with Master, I don’t mind tellin’ you), but it’s not for me. _

_ Now you on the other hand -- I figure you’ve probably got your eye on a special somebody, eh~? You know who they are! They’re damn lucky too, given how much of a catch you are, and if they haven’t given you a gift today, they’re  _ _ NUTS!!! _ _ That said, I consider it a responsibility as one of your mentors to give you some advice. _

_ Let’s go over the basics of gettin’ people in the mood, first. There’s a bunch of other steps for formally courtin' someone before you even start gettin’ touchy-feely, but if you know them well enough to be givin’ each other Valentine’s, we can skip that part.  _

_ When I was courtin' Lizzy, my favorite move to pull in private was the Pillow Fight. I got an advantage in that department, obviously, but you shouldn’t sell yourself short! Lizzy liked to take long walks around teatime, least on some days. I struck hard and fast, none of that walkin’ up, “oh hey, how you doin’, nice to see you, d’you have a moment --” none of that. I wait ‘til she rounds the corner, then bam! Pull her into a hug, right into the fourteen-pounders! She’d be upset at first, but the breasts quiet the noise so nobody hears the queen shoutin’ and get all up in arms about it, and then I’d just run a hand through her hair, shushin’ her like I was rockin’ her asleep. There are very few circumstances where people  _ _ don’t _ _ wanna be shoved between a pair of tits. It’s a nice place to be. Lizzy  _ _ always _ _ lost the Pillow Fight~.  _

_ Anyway, when she got to the point where she stopped shoutin’ and shovin’, and started lettin' out a couple a' softer moans, maybe gettin’ more comfortably and a little touchy-feely, that’s the signal for you to find a room somewhere. (After the Pillow Fight, it’s time to go to bed, y’see). From there, you can start -- ’ _

“Yeah, uhhh, this is definitely Drake.” Ritsuka quickly folded up the note, which went on for  _ several _ more paragraphs, presumably further detailing the pirate’s advice for spending Valentine’s day with a significant other.

Mash let out a sigh of relief. “I thought so. I mean, it looks like a treasure chest, and the chocolate globe made me think of her, so I assumed… but those guns -- if it was one of the other pirates…” She shuddered, rightfully afraid at the idea of what Roberts or Blackbeard might have sent her.

“Right. A-anyway, here’s the note. Drake has some, uh, relationship advice on it? It might be worth reading later. In private.” She held it out to Mash, hoping beyond hope that she would take it off her hands.

“Oh, I see! That was thoughtful of her! I’ll definitely look at it once we finish.” She placed it with Marie’s note on her bed stand; out of sight and out of mind.

If any more of these notes had  _ anything _ to do with sex, Ritsuka was going to lose her mind.

… 

_ ‘Greetings, wretch~. _

_ I have to admit, after all this time, I thought Master would have chosen one of the beauties vying for her love… and of course, she would have chosen me, or I would have DESTROYED HER, AND THE ONE SHE FORSOOK ME FOR. _

_ (Forgive my temper; it’s easier to handle these days, but it’s still so hard to rein in when thinking about my beloved trifling with the unworthy.) _

_ However, it seems as though Master has enough love in her heart for all of us… including you. I must admit, where I do not see the APPEAL of certain OTHER COMPETITORS -- (forgive my temper once again) you are certainly the best of the purple-colored ones. You have an… innocent quality. Not so much as myself, of course~. _

_ Please, consider this a peace offering, of sorts. As long as the seas of Master’s heart remain boundless, you may sup of her love as freely as I. We can be friends if you like~. Comrades on the field of war as well as on the field of love. They go so often hand in hand, after all~. _

_ Of course, this comes with the expectation that you never try to abuse our Master’s generosity, and that you punish the other fiends who might try to. If not, I would have to take DRASTIC MEASURES IN SEEKING VENGEANCE. (I apologize one final time -- but only for the context in which I make the threat, not my righteous anger itself. Rest assured, I will allow my temper to run wild as a forest fire should my Master be misled.) Happy Valentine’s Day~.’ _

… 

Mash was fiddling with the oddly-shaped case, the silhouette and color of an old bronze bell. She only just found the catch to open it as Ritsuka finished reading the note, opening it up to see neatly partitioned rows of chocolates inside. “Aha! ...these look fairly normal. I was expecting something a little more… severe from Kiyohime. This  _ is _ from Kiyohime, isn’t it?”

“Yep. She called it a “peace offering”.”

Mash made a slightly worried noise. “I hadn’t realized we were fighting… over you, I suppose?”

Ritsuka blushed helplessly. “I-I think it’s cute! She really cares, y’know?”

“Sen-paiiii…. people can care about you without threatening to  _ kill _ you…”

“Coming from a Berserker, it’s very sweet, Mash.”

She sighed. “I suppose so.” She plucked a chocolate cube from the box and popped it into her mouth. Almost immediately, her eyes shot open, and she started choking and coughing.

Ritsuka rushed over to her side. “Mash! What’s wrong?” A thought popped into her head unbidden; Kiyohime wouldn’t give Mash poisoned chocolates, would she? That just wasn’t her style, if nothing else…

Mash held up a hand to assure Ritsuka that she was okay -- which didn’t do much to actually calm her, since she was still coughing and her eyes had begun to water. “Wa-- wa--”

“Water? Are you asking -- Mash, if you can’t breathe, water might not help, we should go to the infirmary.”

Mash just shook her head. “Wa-wasabi. Ch-chocolate w--” She broke into another coughing fit, standing up and snatching the creamer they kept on hand for the hot chocolate.

Ritsuka peered at the box of chocolates. She picked one up and crushed it between her fingers, the color of dark chocolate giving way to radioactive green insides.

“That’s a mean trick… Mash, do you want to talk to her about this or--”

She looked over at Mash, chugging down the entire bottle of creamer that she couldn’t imagine was doing  _ anything _ to help the acidic heat of the wasabi. “N-no, it’s fi-- fine. Tastes -- great!” She gave a thumbs-up, smiling even as tears poured down her burning red cheeks.

...

_ ‘Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, _

_ Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. _

_ All the king’s horses and all the king’s men, _

_ Couldn’t put Humpty together again! _

  
  


_ Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb; _

_ Mary had a little lamb with fleece as white as snow! …’ _

… 

The picture book seemed to be filled with classic children’s poems, the stiff pages even larger and heavier than an ordinary book of nursery rhymes to accommodate the chocolate characters nested in the scenery. There was no proper note, but the gift itself was a calling card and an invitation in and of itself.

“This one is the most obvious, isn’t it?” Mash asked, more or less recovered from Kiyohime’s surprising (but not totally distasteful) treat.

“Oh, definitely. This is from Dantes, no doubt about it.”

“Yes, it -- wh-what!?”

Ritsuka laughed. “I’m just messing with you, Mash. This is from Nursery, of course.”

“Ah, senpai…” Mash let out a sigh, clearly less than amused. “Seriously, though. I thought the same at first, but it could be from any one of the kids, right? Maybe they just had Nursery help with making it…?”

Ritsuka smiled. “Maybe so. I guess you’ll just have to read with all of them, huh?”

The way Mash’s heart blossomed with warmth was visible; her shoulders relaxed, and her smile reached her eyes. “I guess so~. Do you think you’d like to be there too, senpai~?”

That caught Ritsuka off-guard. “Uh, y-yeah. I think I would,” she answered honestly and without a second thought.

Mash laughed quietly, a noise that didn’t quite leave her lips, and continued beaming at Ritsuka. The other girl was left with no other recourse but to scramble through the few remaining gifts.

… 

_ ‘Hey, Mash! Gosh, Valentine’s just snuck up on me this year! That’s a pretty hard thing to do, sneaking up on an apex predator like that! I dunno, I kept thinkin’ that I should purrobably get a gift for you and some of the others -- but then I thought about making a gift for Master and cooking fur the red chef, and I just _

_ Sorry, I walked away halfway thru writing this! What a messy letter! Anyways, you’re pawsitively cute, and a really cool girl!  _

_ Enjoy the chocolate. I made it in bulk fur my other friends. I wish it were more personal, but hey! It’s the thought that counts! And I think about you a lot! I’ll cook stuff fur you whenever you want, like a wife! Keep being cool and nice!!!’ _

… 

“Right, this is from either Cat, or Jaguar Warrior,” Ritsuka said confidently after she had finished reading the borderline unreadable note written on a scrap of paper tucked into the label of a chocolate bar. The label itself, oddly, had neater writing and actual graphic design, on par with any other mass-produced candy

“Ah. And given that it says ‘tamamo’ on the front…”

“Yeah.” 

“...do you think it tastes alright?”

“Oh, absolutely! Cat’s a pro, after all! A professional who takes her payment in cuddles, raw ingredients, and the occasional petting session, but she  _ really _ knows what she’s doing.”

Mash nodded, serious and contemplative. “I see… I suppose the least I could do is, er, cuddle her, then.”

“Take it from me, Mash -- one way or another, you’re probably going to be doing a  _ lot _ of cuddling with everybody.”

“...I guess you’d know best.”

Ritsuka snorted in amusement. “It’s not  _ that _ bad, Mash. I mean -- you’re not  _ obligated _ , or anything, but it can just be platonic. It’s just… nice, y’know?”

“Right. Senpai… I don’t suppose --”

“Ahaha, let's not -- let’s put a pin in that, for now,” she said quickly. “I’ll just say that I’ve done a  _ lot _ of hugging, cuddling, headpatting, and more, over the past few days. I'm okay doing -- just about anything that -- anybody might want me to do. With them. Whoever they are.” She hoped that she hadn't misread the nature of Mash's unspoken question, or else the rest of the day was going to be a _little_ awkward.  


“Ah, r-right. Let’s keep going then.”

Ritsuka nodded. The two of them moved on to the next item, both trying not to blush.

…

The next chocolate in question didn’t have any note attached. It didn’t have any text at all, in fact, but it needed it even less than Tamamo’s bar or Nursery Rhyme’s book did. It was a version of Orion as a chocolate bar, the same shape and size, albeit a bit flatter.

“...no prizes for guessing this one?”

“Well, Mash, let’s not be too hasty -- it could be from Artemis  _ or Orion _ , after all.”

Mash rolled her eyes and shoved Ritsuka playfully. “Well now that you mention it, it very well  _ could  _ be!” 

The two of them devolved into a bout of childish shoving and laughing for a while, falling all over each other before finally regaining their composure a few minutes later.

Mash sighed, flopped down on the floor on her back. “If Orion commissioned this, senpai, I don’t know that I can bring myself to cuddle with him.”

“Hmmm, yeah. Artemis might take it the wrong way. If  _ she _ commissioned it, though, I’m still not sure it’d be safe.”

“Because of Orion? Oh, or because of Atalante?”

“Actually, Atalante  _ would _ probably be upset if she found out, but I was thinking more about Artemis'… hazards.”

Mash sat up, blinking uncomprehendingly. “Hazards? What are you mean?”

“Just -- y’know. It’s dangerous to hug tall women.” Drake’s “Pillow Fight” strategy flashed through Ritsuka’s mind.

Mash was confused for a moment or two more, before it suddenly clicked and she turned away in embarrassment.

Ritsuka felt similarly ashamed about her comment. “Sorry. I, uh… don’t really have a good excuse, but in my defense, we were talking about cuddling, and Drake’s note mentioned --”

“No, it’s not…” Mash interrupted her, before trailing off. “Is it… really such a bad thing?”

They were both quiet for a moment. Ritsuka was the first to speak. “Every time Raikou or Anne hug me, my life flashes before my eyes.”

“You keep hugging them though, right~?” Mash smiled at her.

Ritsuka couldn’t help but laugh. “Guilty as charged!”

…

_ ‘Umu! Happy Valentine’s Day, Mashu! _

_ I can only hope that you and my Praetor are enjoying the pleasures of each other’s company! Such a joyous day should be filled with love! And as the emperor of love, I believe I have a unique perspective! _

_ So, allow me to make a formal overture, one that I imagine many other admirers must be making to you, and one I also extend to my Praetor -- separately or even together, if you prefer, umu!  _

_ Frankly, I would like to make love to you, Mash~. I would love to have you in my bed, wrapped up in silks~. You would look even lovelier than you already do, umu, which would be quite a feat! _

_ I could continue writing the things I would do to you, my lovely Shielder, but this is merely a Valentine’s Day greeting, and not a letter formally courting you and praising your beauty -- that would be a far longer letter, umu! This is merely a more formal declaration of my love, on this wonderful day celebrating it. I await your reply with bated breath, whatever it may be!’ _

…

Ritsuka sighed. Earlier she had thought she was going to lose her mind if she read another letter having anything to do with sex, let alone one written with Nero’s personality that addressed the matter so openly. While her sanity had  _ just  _ managed to avoid shattering altogether, she could have  _ sworn _ she felt her Madness Enhancement going up by at least a rank.

“...Senpai? You’re, um… trembling, a little bit.”

Ritsuka paused. Carefully, she set down the deep red, perfume-scented paper Nero had gone to trouble placing inside the lid of her custom rose-shaped chocolate box.

Although, ‘chocolate tower’ might have been more accurate. The box was as deep as it was wide, over a dozen different chocolates packed shoulder-to-shoulder on the first of three or four layers, by Ritsuka’s reckoning. On the inside of the lid, beneath Nero’s salacious note, was a detailed description of what each of the various candies would taste like, and indeed, there were a few listed there not present on the first layer.

Ritsuka cleared her throat, her observation of the impressive gift having cooled her head somewhat. “So -- anyway! This is, uh, definitely from Nero!”

“Ah, okay, that makes sense! The rose and all… but senpai…”

“I don’t know,” Ritsuka said, beleaguered. “My gut tells me that this is from the original Saber, but honestly, it could be from Nero Bride or Caster.”

Mash hummed thoughtfully, picking up the intellectual slack from her senpai. “W-well… summer Nero isn’t allowed to do this sort of thing anymore, right? She lost her romance privileges after the problems with her harem…?”

“Oh!” Ritsuka hit herself on the forehead. “I can’t believe I forgot about that! I thought it was weird that Martha was lurking in the hallway when she gave me her Valentine’s gift!”

Mash nodded in agreement. “Additionally, this doesn’t quite seem like something Nero Bride would send. Surely it would have more white or lace, a-and furthermore --”

“Woah, “furthermore”; look out, Holmes, you've got competition!”

“Senpai…” Mash rolled her eyes but nevertheless seemed very pleased with herself. “I-in any case, I just haven’t spent as much time with Bride as I have with Nero, especially considering all the time we spent in the Septem singularity. Therefore --” She paused for a moment, shooting a look at Ritsuka, daring her to tease her again. For her part, Ritsuka tried and failed to hold back a laugh while gesturing for Mash to continue. “Therefore -- this is definitely Nero’s gift!”

Ritsuka held up a hand for a high-five. After a moment, Mash reciprocated, and the two of them fell apart into another fit of giggling.

“Thank you for your support, Watson~,” Mash teased. “Would you care to partake in some of these chocolates while we finish up with the last three… clues of this case?

“Thank you very much, detective Mashu,” Ritsuka quipped back, “but I have plenty of chocolate of my own to eat before it goes bad. I might be convinced to have one or two if you insist, though~.”

… 

_ ‘A day just for love. _

_ Lovers, or parent and child. _

_ I love you~. Enjoy <3.’ _

… 

“Ah, it’s from one of your moms, Mash.”

Mash sighed. “Well, that narrows it down.” She peered into the square box, a slate of very, very dark chocolate resting at the bottom of the black container. “What would your first guess be, senpai?”

“Hmm… probably Raikou? The note’s a little short, but… here, take a look.”

Ritsuka passed the tag that the brief note was written on, ink and streaks of red paint giving it the impression of a blood-stained letter. After a few moments, she exclaimed, “Oh, it’s a haiku!”

“Really?” Ritsuka leaned over her shoulder to reread the message, counting off the syllables on her fingers. “Huh. How about that?”

Mash looked back at the slab of chocolate laying in the box. “...how do I eat this?”

“...how would Raikou eat it?”

They both stared at the candy for a moment. Mash raised her fist and slammed it down against the thick chocolate once, twice, a few more times, until it had been reduced to a variety of still large but far more manageable pieces. She popped one of the smaller ones into her mouth and gave Ritsuka a thumbs-up.

… 

_ ‘Thank you for everything. Happy Valentine’s Day. _

_ I was told to write a little more, sorry. _

_ You’re a really brave human being. I think you’re definitely a human, and being a Heroic Spirit and other circumstances doesn’t mean that you’re not. I like how dedicated you are to protecting people, not just hurting others. You’re very kind. Also pretty. _

_ Okay -- that’s all. Happy Valentine’s Day. Again.’ _

… 

Ritsuka and Mash were stumped. They had been going back and forth between the note and the small pink box for several minutes now. They had considered the language used, the implication that someone else was looking it over for the gift-giver, and the chocolate-coated biscuits in the shape of sakura petals.

They just didn’t know who it could’ve been from. There were a few candidates who seemed particularly likely, but it really could’ve been from just about anyone.

“Alright, final guess… could it be from Pavarti?”

Mash sighed. “It makes sense aesthetically, at any rate… but she’s usually a little more… flowery than this, n-no pun intended. I would expect a note from her to have a few more flowers and hearts on it, and to be perfectly honest, well… I think she’s more romantically interested in other Servants.”

“But this doesn’t seem like a romantic note, does it?”

“I don’t know, senpai,” she groaned, flopping on her bed in frustration. “I just don’t know. I might just bite the bullet and ask her, consequences be darned.”

“W-- Mash! I thought we were trying to avoid that!” She leaned over to where her typically resolute kouhai lay in defeat. “Don’t tell me you don’t care…” 

Mash shook her head. “It’s embarrassing, but Pavarti’s very sweet. I don’t think she’d take it the wrong way. Plus, one case of mistaken identity is less humiliating than twelve.”

“Oh -- right. Um, I guess if we’re calling quits on this one… there’s just one more box.”

Ritsuka picked up the final chocolate, one of the smallest ones aside from the sakura-shaped cookies and Cat’s chocolate bar. 

The box was a dark gray, the same color as Mash’s armor. The purple lining peeked through where the two halves of the box met, leaving no doubt that the gift had been made special for the Shielder.

Ritsuka fidgeted in place awkwardly and held the gift out over Mash. “Um… why don’t you do the honors, since this is the final one.”

She did so in an almost idle fashion, reaching up to take it and opening it with little reverence or fanfare. Resting on the soft purple interior was a chocolate heart. What set it apart from a more ordinary gift, aside from the guarantee of quality that came with Semiramis’ chocolates, was the small raised symbol in the center -- a version of her unique shield.

Mash took out the chocolate and set down the box. “I looked this one over carefully. More carefully than the others, actually. I thought I had missed or misplaced something, but no… there just wasn’t any note at all.”

“I know,” Ritsuka mumbled, patting down the many, many pockets on her coat.

“It’s a shame, too,” she continued, slightly crestfallen. “This is such a lovely gift. A-all of the gifts have a lot of thought and care put into them, obviously, but -- this one feels special. Very personal. I know it sounds silly, but I --” She stopped, looking away from the heart and up at Ritsuka. “Wait, senpai, what did you…?”

She trailed off when she saw what the other girl was holding out to her, being too ashamed to meet her gaze and staring at the wall instead. It was a small rectangle of paper that, coincidentally, could have slipped perfectly inside the empty space on the inside lid of the box where a note might have gone.

“I wanted to write something a little more meaningful on the back,” Ritsuka explained. “But, um, it was a little hard to find the words? A-and then I ran out of time, so I just -- y’know -- I must have forgotten to slip it back in there before I -- dropped it off. Here. For you.”

…Mash didn’t know what to say. She gently, carefully, took the paper out from between Ritsuka’s fingers. The only thing written on it was a simple phrase in surprisingly elegant script:

_ ‘Love, _

_ Master’ _

She let out a giggle, unable to help herself, at how formal and short the note was, when Ritsuka had proven time and time again how willing she was to go to great lengths for others -- even right now, spending the whole day helping Mash when she was too nervous and flustered to deal with her gifts by herself.

…but then, her Master always did have more to say with actions than with words.

Ritsuka’s eyes were darting frantically from stealing glances at Mash to staring back at the floor, the wall, the unboxed chocolates, anything that wasn’t her, waiting for some kind of response.

“Senpai,” she said warmly, “thank you. For helping me… and for this. This… really means a lot.”

Ritsuka smiled at the other girl. “You’re welcome. I’m -- I’m glad you like it.”

“Of course! It’s from you, after all~. Would you like to share this chocolate together?”

She swallowed, anxiety slowly giving way to her usual confidence. “I-I’d like that, yes. If it’s alright with you.”

Mash smiled. “Well then… go ahead. You can have the first bite~.” She wrapped her lips around a small part of the heart and shifted against the bed -- not trying to pose herself especially seductively, but just getting comfortable for whatever happened next. She delicately placed her fingers to hold up both sides of the heart, keeping it in her mouth (and incidentally framing her body with her arms quite nicely).

She heard Ritsuka’s breath catch in her throat. Tentatively, she lowered herself onto the bed, her hips settling on the mattress right next to Mash’s. She had to place her hands by Mash’s shoulders to brace herself; Mash felt her heartbeat quicken with excitement as her senpai was suddenly looming over her, a few inches away from actually embracing her, or even pinning her to the bed.

Ritsuka’s eyes landed on the chocolate. They slowly slid upwards to look at Mash, asking for permission one more time.

Mash smiled around the candy and gave the slightest nod of her head. Ritsuka leaned in, breath warm on Mash’s fingers where she held the chocolate, and smiled.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mash~.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Semiramis, an ancient queen, learning how badly these people screwed up the most fundamental aspects of courtship: you gave.... incredibly expensive chocolate.... to somebody you LOVE.... by leaving it at their DOOR!!!????
> 
> Semiramis, gesturing furiously: half of you are NOBILITY!!!! how do you fuck up this badly!!!! Mash, sweetie, I'm SO sorry these idiots made your day more stressful
> 
> Mash, covered in apology kisses and hickeys: (that's ok, don't worry about it)


End file.
